Being friends with your ex? 18-03-2019
By: César A. Fernández
Especially if you have children in common with your ex, it is important to maintain a cordial relationship. The respectful treatment between you and the climate of peace will help the whole family to have a healthy bereavement after a divorce.
It is not that you must necessarily be friends with your ex, but you must maintain a relationship that allows them to share together in some spaces where it is necessary to do so (e.g. children's birthdays, special events, celebrations of mutual friends).
It is not advisable to be together all the time, that your ex goes to your house, that you continue to talk on the phone as if you were still a couple or husbands, that you talk about all the details of the day, that you ask for constant advice, etc. This type of interaction tends to generate confusion (in one of the parties involved or in both), it leads to misunderstandings with current couples, it does not allow you to have a proper duel, and does not let you open yourself completely to a new relationship.
In short, it is important to keep a proper distance from your ex, (and with each ex it can be different depending on the type of personality they have or the history they have had). But if you meet or should share at some point, say hello, catch up, ask about your ex-mothers-in-law. It is important to have a healthy relationship, even if you are no longer a couple.
The recommended equation would be: due distance + respect + cordiality + gratitude… and why not, sincere affection.
Each case is different and these recommendations may not apply to all situations. If this topic causes you confusion, you can approach therapy to work on it, for the good of all involved, starting with you!
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